equinox fitness: “happily ever” = hornily ever.

There may have been a time when going to a gym had something to do with balance or lowering your bad cholesterol or something equally boring. Equinox Fitness, a high-end American fitness chain, has grabbed the bull by the horns with advertising that sticks to the facts. People don’t go to the gym to feel “healthy”… they go to the gym to hopefully dress up in Victorian gowns and eat grapes off the stomach of a blonde, yoga-buffed male model wearing gold lamé booty shorts.

Makes sense to me. Though I’m no closer to hitting the gym after watching this ad, I’m a helluva lot closer to jerking off:

(Agency: Fallon Minneapolis)

Part of Equinox’s new “Happily Ever” campaign (shot by fashion fave Ellen von Unwerth), the tag line “What’s your after?” is steering you right toward the fairytale male model-humping storybook life that’s up for the taking if only you could get your fat ass in a gym.

Those bitches mean business. But not as much business as a bunch of horny art class nuns in corresponding print ad “Figure Drawing”…


These are no ordinary nuns. These are lipstick nuns. And they want some cock.

I don’t care what any of these ads mean anymore. They’ve got hot naked people and there no use or even sense in justifying it. That dude’s ass has inspired me to do some squats. So I guess it all worked out in the end…


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