edible.

When I first found this I wasn’t sure if it was a joke or a conceptual exercise or a viral. Turns out it’s real. Which leaves me feeling very conflicted: a mixture of curiosity, admiration, bewilderment, and abject horror.

Edible sells the most fucked up shit you’ve never eaten. And for good reason…

Edible is an online smorgasbord of exotic foodstuffs from around the world. And we’re not talking escargot-exotic. If your idea of pushing culinary boundaries is steak tartare, then please stop reading now. Because we’re talking “Giant Toasted Leafcutter Ants” exotic.

The site is so chic, and the monochromatic Helvetica-heavy packaging so modern, that you might not realize that your Antlix Lollipop isn’t just pretty to look at – it’s filled with bugs!

Besides being visually appealing, Edible is also a treasure trove of amazing sales and marketing positioning – necessary when you’re trying to sell things like this. For the Antlix Lollipop, they make it clear that not only is it peppermint flavoured (as opposed to “ant flavoured”, I suppose) but that it’s “less daunting to try”. And anytime licking ants is considered less daunting, you know you’re in for a real treat.

Real treats like Tequila Worm Lollipops, Scorpion Toffee Candy, and Scorpion Vodka…

That’s right. The Tequilalix Lollipop is not only sugar-free, but it’s got a real live worm suspended inside. If years of hitting the end of the tequila bottle and realizing that “why, yes, I am drunk enough to eat that worm” have left you desensitized, then how about scorpions. Big ones. With stingers. When you’ve reached the end of your bottle of Scorpion Vodka, there’s a full-sized edible scorpion to chow down on (though, and I’m not joking, as the site says “please be careful of the sharp stinger”). And if you want to try eating bugs while sober, there’s always Toffee Scorpion Candy.

Moving beyond insect-laden booze, the site also offers some more mainstream romantic gifts, like the Pearl Lollipop (made from ground pearls) and the hand-rolled 24 Karat Gold Lollipop. Useless, yes. Impressive, possibly.

But, let’s be real, on a website that sells Thai Curry Crickets, gold suckers are for pussies. So let’s get onto the carnivorous stuff…

That’s right. Reindeer Paté is the perfect holiday treat – sing about Rudolph while spreading Blitzen on a cracker. My personal favourite, the site makes a worthy bid for understatement of the year when it describes it’s hand-picked Mopani Worms as “an interesting addition to dinner parties”. No shit.

Comments

  1. If you think those are strange and interesting come visit us in the Philippines.

    We eat barbeque cows blood, balut (a fertilized egg with embryo growing then boiled), dried fish (smells strong, tastes yummy), chicken heads, chicken feet, chicken intestines all grilled outside. We make sisig, which is a spicy delicacy which is best when made using pig ears.

    One of my customers who visited here said “You eat all of the pig but the squeel and all of the chicken but the cluck.” He is right.

    I’m not sure about eating ants, though. We seem to have them everywhere, but I just find them disgusting, not yummy, even though I have swallowed many of them which have ended up in the rice, sugar, or other food.

    Really enjoyed your examples of exotic foods.

    Take care,

    Angie

  2. The Mexican in me really wants to try the Tequilalix Lollie. It looks so yum.
    The champagne lollie with gold sounds nice for a celebration. So does the pearls lollie. I want everything in that store. Everything. If I don’t like something, I could give it to that guy from Bizarre Foods.

  3. Libb says:

    I have eaten Mopani worms; a norm in Africa. They taste like gritty, pasty dirt. Horrible even when dipped in BBQ sauce.

  4. I’m a scorpio.

    I love vodka.

    Graduation gift?!

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