la machine: big ass spider.

This is my idea of hell. Have we learned nothing from the Trojans? That’s right. I’m waiting for this thing to open up and the army of mechanical mini-spiders to slowly colonize the planet. Didn’t anyone else see Cloverfield? Why do the Brits seem so excited about this thing? It must be all that Marmite.

To kick off a 5-day outdoor theatre piece celebrating Capital of Culture, last night a freaky big mechanical spider appeared on the side of a building called Concourse House in Liverpool, England. The £1.8 million dollar soon-to-be arachnid overlord was foolhartedly commissioned by Artichoke House and then built by French company La Machine. Standing 50 feet high and weighing in at 37 tonnes, this robo-spider encompasses all that is evil in nature and will surely devour us all. Hello, Lord of the Rings? Arachnaphobia… even Eight Legged Freaks? England has no idea what it’s getting itself into.

Has anyone stopped to consider that France might be invading England? I don’t think we’re looking at all the angles here.

From BBC News (via The Denver Egotist)

The spider is believed to be “waking up” on Friday. It will descend from its current position on the side of Concourse House on Thursday to be moved to the city’s new arena, before coming to life on Friday. The creature will then begin exploring the city later that evening.

“Waking up”? EXPLORING! The last things we need any gigantic spider-bots to do is wake up and explore. Lest we forget, spiders consider “exploring” to be capturing and eating everything they find, then making hundreds of like-minded spider babies. Whatever the geographic pole is to Liverpool, England, I’m going there now. I suggest you all follow.

UPDATE: With this nifty online tool, I’ve found the geographic opposite of Liverpool. Good news is that it’s close to New Zealand. Bad news is that New Zealand is an island, and so being “close” to it often means being in the ocean, as is the case here. So, we’re left with swimming to New Zealand or being dis-membered by the evil mega-spider.

Via The Denver Egotist


  1. Are you serious? Do you really think that this puppet can do anything by itself?
    There must be at least 8 mans to control movement of spider (each arm-one man) and it actually can’t climb buildings.


  1. […] la machine + la princess. 8 09 2008 In case you haven’t heard about “La Princess”, which I’ve affectionately decided to call “Big Ass Spider”, you can read my first post here. […]

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