schweppes: “sensation”.

It’s really interesting to see how a company will market itself so differently to various countries. Obviously, there are social mores and cultural values that will affect how an ad will be received. Ads that run for ages to great acclaim in Scandinavia would make most conservative North Americans completely shit their pants.

For an example of a drastic shift in cross-Atlantic advertising, we need look no further than Schweppes. Following the subtle, visual brilliance of their gorgeous slow-mo Australian spot “Burst” comes the fruit-laden psychadelic mind trip of France’s “Sensation”.

I’m not sure how something this colourfully awesome could be so weirdly bad. Drop a tab and let its technotronic waves of babealicious lust slowly wash over your genitals…

(Agency: FFL Paris. Director: Warren du Preez. Production: Stink.)

WTF? I’m all for ads that get artsy for no apparent reason, but this one just seems majorly hokey to me. Plus, I’m endlessly intrigued by how the French will use lesbionic powersex to sell pretty much anything. My favourite part is when the twins rub the bright yellow strawberry between their cheeks…

Oh, but they’re just getting stared. I guess there was some fear that perhaps the ad was too subtle and the sexy party vibe wouldn’t get across, so to really drive the point home they’ve also got a girl rubbing a carcinogenic raspberry on her lips. That’s right… rubbing berries on her lips. Have we run out of “9 1/2 Weeks” food sex clichés? All she’s missing is a pearl necklace and some clear heels.

These girls are SO HORNY! And that… makes me want soda pop? Like I said, I’m all for purely experiential ads, but I don’t get this one.

Plus, if you ever wanted to talk about subliminal imagery in advertising, I give you the following screenshot to peruse:

That’s right. It’s a vagina. It’s a big, French, Schweppes-loving vagina. And to prove it, it’s filled with three glowing Schweppes power-balls. That’s how you know this vagina loves Schweppes.

Don’t get me wrong, despite how incredibly terrible I think this ad is, the production value is totally awesome. The colours are crisp and vibrant – you can tell this is high quality shit. But there’s just something that’s so overtly sexually bizarrely weird about it. I think they might have been trying to achieve a throw-back 80s Robert Palmer “Simply Irresistible” feel of some kind, but it’s just not working for me.

Especially at the end when the embracing naked girls are swirled up into the vortex of a Schweppes bottle. Like a genie. Waiting until a guy comes and rubs off again…

pangea day: “anthems”.

A couple days ago I posted “Japan Sings Turkey”, the first in Pangea Day’s new “Anthems” campaign. Each spot is an exploration of one culture’s national anthem interpreted into a short film by another country. My favourite, not so much for content but more just for the whole politically-polarized idea behind it, is “France sings USA”. I imagine the thought of a French choir singing the good ol’ “Stars and Stripes” would probably make a few Americans choke on their “freedom fries”, but the sincerity here is undeniable:

(Agency: Johannes Leonardo. Director: Laurent Briet)

Next up is “Kenya Sings India”:

(Director: Bob Nyanja)

Finally we’ve got “Australia Sings Lebanon”. This mostly makes me think Australians aren’t particularly good at humming:

(Director: Kris Moyes)

smiley®: “happy therapy”.

This made me happy. Maybe not for the reasons it intended to, but the end result was still joy. Brightly laughing yellow-coloured joy.

The iconic smiley face has expanded into the world of aromatherapy and fragrance with Smiley®. This isn’t your normal cologne. It’s a “happiness factor” claiming to be the “very first anti-stress perfume”. It’s literally bottling happiness. Smiley offers a full range of olfactory upers; the unisex fragrance is filled with an ”olfactive substance with euphoriant bio-mechanics”. It contains two chemicals derived from cacao extract: Phenylethylamine (a hormonal joy booster) and Theobromine (an adrenaline blocker and stress reliever) help get you pepped up and then keep you that way. The top notes are bergamot, orange, and pimento. The heart is cacao, pralines, and curaçao, and the bottom notes are musk, patchouli, and myrrh.

I’m not sure if this would physiologically actually affect your mood, but I’m pretty sure that psychologically it could – and as long as you’re happier, who really cares how you get there?

The packaging design is killer. I suppose the whole concept would naturally steer them away from that sort of ubiquitous Calvin Klein-esque sleek crystal obelisk we’re sused to seeing frangrance bottles in, but Smiley has really run with the whole pharmaceutical cuteness vibe. Bright white and sunshine yellow, each product has it’s own medicinal function-first sort of bottle – the body wash comes in old-skool Wizard of Oz type oil can, the perfumes in a pill-shaped spray bottle, and bath powder in single-use tablets. If you’re in desperate need, then you can get a whole bunch of happy in their First Aid Kit.

Designed by Ito Morabito of ora-ïto, whose previous work is for style-heavy brands like Nike and Swatch, the entire line is brightly and perfectly on-brand.

But that’s just the beginning. Smiley’s website is a written playground. The English section of the site is a lost in translation dream (or nightmare, depending on how you look at it). I honestly can’t tell if all the grammar nonsense is supposed to be intentionally funny or if French directly translated into English just comes out hilarious. I’m hoping it’s intentional because, at the risk of sounding ridiculous, just reading the descriptions on the site made me really… yes, you guessed it… happy.

It sounds like everyone working at Smiley mush be high. I challenge you, dare you in fact, to read the following quote and not smile. Guffaw even. Perhaps chuckle:

“These two cardio-tonics associated together dope the vitality and sets up the moral. It’s that simple! What were we waiting for to flood these benficial molecules on everyone?!!!”

I’ve totally been looking for a new way to dope my vitality. And of course, once your vitality is doped your moral is set up too.

Smiley’s online store, called the “Happy Therapy Centre”, sells the whole range of smiley products – including Smiley Rubbing Body Friction, an“epidermal stimulating massage oil with micro-nutrients to activate happiness”. The site also ships worldwide and has a store locator in case you want to go pick up some happy in person. I need this stuff. Not to use, just to have for the pure comic value.

still awesome: ikea’s tidy up.

Most of the time I’m concerned with what the newest, hottest things are. And that would mean I’m ignoring a lot of cool stuff. Thus, I give you Still Awesome. Looks back at some amazing ads that everyone should check out.

To kick it all off we’ve got Ikea’s hilarious Tidy Up campaign. God bless Sweden – they’re just not as hung up on everything as the rest of us are. Even for Northern Europe they’re ahead of the curve. What could be better than that? How about French Ikea. Now you know that’s a company that really doesn’t give a shit what you think is acceptable.

Tidy Up was originally created for French Ikea by Leagas Delaney Paris in 2001. The five 30-second spots were targeted to youth in an effort to break their brand association of Ikea as the place their parents by wooden kitchen chairs. Tidy Up was such a hit in France that it was translated and used all over Europe.

Though these spots travel all over the web as “banned” and “censored Ikea ad”, they were never censored become Europe is cool enough to not censor stuff. Probably the misconception was started by posters coming across the ads who rightfully assumed they were too scandalous to play in North America, when in fact the ads were never intended to run there at all.

This little gem, “Sous La Pagaille (Under the Mess)” is my fave. It just dares people with no sense of humour to get all uppity:

Then we’ve got “Petites Voitures (Little Cars)”. This one’s just as good:

So far we’ve covered child abuse and sex toys. We move on to “Spaghetti” (I guess in French it’s “Le Spaghetti”):

I think the fourth, “Robot” (….”La Robot”?), would have the best chance of playing here. Maybe that’s wishful thinking:

And to finish it all of, here’s “La Fourchette (The Fork)”: